A man and his wife are having an argument. the wife yells, “get out of the house, i hate you! i want a divorce, get out now!”. then, as her husband is walking out the door, she screams, “i hope you die a slow and painful death!”. the husband stops and says, “hang on a minute, now you want me to stay?”. A 95 year old man and his 94 year old wife see a lawyer about a divorce. the lawyer asks them when they got married. “i was 19,” says the man. “that means you’ve been married for 75 years at least,” the lawyer points out. “yes. and all of it misery,” says the woman. “really?.
2. the wife and the lawyer “wife: i want to know if i have grounds for a divorce. lawyer: are you married? wife: yes, of course. lawyer: then you have grounds.” 3. jack and friends “jack is telling his friends about his recent divorce. ‘yeah, she divorced me for religious reasons. she worshiped money, and i didn’t have any.’” 4. A hundred year old couple seeks a divorce. a hundred year old couple enters a lawyers office. after inviting them to sit he asks what he can do for them. they tell him they are seeking to divorce. the lawyer is puzzled and asks how long they've been married for. 79 long years the woman replies. Paramount pictures. a divorce court judge said to the husband, “i have reviewed this case very carefully, and i’ve decided to give your wife $800 a week.”. “that’s very fair, your honor,” he replied. “and every now and then, i’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”. divorced couples in colorado are having trouble deciding who. 1. “love is a battlefield, but divorce is a full scale war.”. 2. “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it’s a marriage with a prenup.”. 3. “all’s fair in love and war, except divorce settlements.”. 4. “there’s no smoke without fire, just like there’s no alimony without divorce.”. 5.
Paramount pictures. a divorce court judge said to the husband, “i have reviewed this case very carefully, and i’ve decided to give your wife $800 a week.”. “that’s very fair, your honor,” he replied. “and every now and then, i’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”. divorced couples in colorado are having trouble deciding who. 1. “love is a battlefield, but divorce is a full scale war.”. 2. “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it’s a marriage with a prenup.”. 3. “all’s fair in love and war, except divorce settlements.”. 4. “there’s no smoke without fire, just like there’s no alimony without divorce.”. 5. Divorce dark humor jokes. here’s some funny divorce jokes for adults: 1. why did the tomato turn red during the divorce? it saw the salad dressing! 2. my ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! 3. divorce is just one way of telling your spouse, “i don’t want to be the only one suffering in this relationship.” 4. The best wife jokes offer some good old fashioned belly laughs. you can use these jokes to give your wife a good chuckle or share them with friends and family. you can even tell these jokes at the workplace. each joke offers plenty of wife puns and is sure to tickle your funny bone, in sickness and in health…. 1.
Divorce dark humor jokes. here’s some funny divorce jokes for adults: 1. why did the tomato turn red during the divorce? it saw the salad dressing! 2. my ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better! 3. divorce is just one way of telling your spouse, “i don’t want to be the only one suffering in this relationship.” 4. The best wife jokes offer some good old fashioned belly laughs. you can use these jokes to give your wife a good chuckle or share them with friends and family. you can even tell these jokes at the workplace. each joke offers plenty of wife puns and is sure to tickle your funny bone, in sickness and in health…. 1.
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